I was sitting in a small piece of round land that when I looked down from the edges I could see I am somewhere about fifty kilometers above the ground below. Down there I saw horror and in the bright red sky I felt terror. At that moment I started to think back what had happened to me to find myself at this place.
It came back to me now that I was dead and my last memories alive were that of the doctor comforting me to a peaceful death. My death was not an accident because I was told I caught a rare incurable disease and my days left on earth were counted and given to me. I had lived them normally. To the features of this place I was very sure this was not paradise.
Now the painful sensation of not being counted amongst the living came back to me. I was sure I'd make it to Heaven when I died but here I am in the world of the dead. I just know now that I've passed the point of no return that some people call hopelessness. I had run out of time, the precious time I wasted digging my own hole to the world of the dead. I sat there with hate and regrets.
A thought came to my mind that there was no point in avoiding the inevitable by sitting on this piece of land since I am going to spend eternity here. Its better I go down and get to know some of these damned souls. We were all children of evil being ruled by the one devil, the deceiver of all creation.
I looked down at an event, there were many men drinking all kinds of beer. They were so drunk that some of them couldn't move from where they where sitting. At another side there were a group of men doing all kings of immoral acts. I saw fathers rape their daughters and brothers rape their sisters. At another side I saw mobs fighting each other for the price of pride. I saw them kill one another and bathing in blood. Just as they are dead they disappeared only to reappear in the sky and fell down to the ground and from this sight I knew I was in the last world.
I looked at another side and saw new souls falling from the sky to the ground below me. This whole world was burning in eternal flames but those who have spent some time here are used to these flames. The new souls got burnt by the fire. They were not physically burnt but were enduring the pain. I saw them jump all over, some of them lying in the ground kicking their legs wildly in pain. They were all screaming and crying.
I began to think back to when I was alive to find out where I had gone wrong. I was once counted amongst God's children. The darkness got hold of me and held me tightly. I kept on holding to the few words of the Lord but each day every second they fade way into the nothing. Although the devil contributed to my fall I was the one who deceived me.
Believing is a powerful mechanism. In it contains the power to accept what lies right in front of me. I was a fool then to think I was okay, to just let the darkness easily enslave me. When it got too dark I'd run away to church but that wasn't the solution since God is more than the church and so the church was just a disguise, a postponement that my faith was really falling apart. I was losing hope then and that is why I started believing that Heaven was not meant for me.
And now here I sit already too late to redeem my soul. While sitting here I realize faith cannot be built out of someone's words, a miracle or something done. It has to start deep in the heart as a ripe fire of desire for the only God. The faith that I truly had but locked it within the chambers of my heart neither depended on where I am, how I am, what I am, when I am nor who I am. It is the same faith that gave the angel Michael the power to lead his angels to defeat the devil and throw him out of Heaven and all his angels. The same faith that made God takes the image of man in an attempt to redeem the entire world of sins and to draw his people close to himself. I t will be the same faith that will allow the Lord to return and harvest the earth of all his people.
Here I am surrounded by eternal darkness full of shame and regrets. Now that I am in hell my faith in God has grown more and I am willing to celebrate his glory here in hell the home I chose for myself out of weakness and deception. I know God never changes and his word remains true but I remember his word in the book of first Corinthians chapter thirteen verse thirteen "meanwhile these three remains: faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love."
So if I still have faith and love and holding on to my hope while I am in hell, my soul is therefore not damned and so with these three; faith, hope and love the sky shall open and I shall feel the shade of God.
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